Wham, bam, thank you ma’am – now I’m off for a good kip

If you’re a fan of Creationism, then the Good Lord goofed somewhat when he took one of Adam’s ribs and made Eve. Contrarily, if you subscribe to Darwin’s theory of evolution and survival of the fittest, then it’s all down to science.

What I’m referring to, of course, is post-coital indifference…or, to put it bluntly, why guys want to go to sleep after love-making, while gals demand cooing pillow-talk, further gyrating and eternal gratitude for their self-sacrifice.

Apparently, however, there’s a perfectly reasonable biological explanation for this behaviour.

Apart from the obvious fact – e.g. we blokes do most of the work, grunting and grinding our way to sweaty climaxes while women lay back and think of the Empire – new evidence points to the irrefutable conclusion that the male brain works on a different premise to that of women (though the knowledge that blokes have brains might comes as a shock to some members of the female persuasion).

A study by French scientists – haven’t the French got better things to do nowadays than remain obsessed with l’amour? – reveals men’s sexual desire switches off after orgasm and he experiences a ‘refractory period’ and cannot be re-aroused.

WOULD YOU ADAM & EVE IT! Sex has different side effects on men and women

In technical terms, a surge of chemicals such as oxytocin and serotonin – which can have a powerful, sleep-inducing effect – are released and our cingulate cortex and amygdala (whatever they are) cease functioning. So, in rather base terms, once we come, we tend to go.

On the other hand women’s cravings continue unabated (‘The saucy, little devils’ – Ed) and are thus left feeling a tad insecure, unloved, unfulfilled and unappreciated.

Furthermore, because men typically have higher muscle density than women, research shows the blood rush after climax depletes the muscles of energy-producing glycogen and we become more fatigued after sex (as I said earlier: remember who does most of the work).

So, unsurprisingly, in a survey, 80% per cent of men said they felt able to drift off to the Land of Nod without any problems after making love, compared with just 46% of women.

The same survey also found 48% of men had actually fallen asleep during the sex act itself, but let’s forget about that stat, since it’s likely to be a bone of contention in many boudoirs.

So, ladies, before you get dolled up in your stockings, suspenders, G-strings and negligees, then lead the conversation round to having an early night with a bottle of bubbly by the candle-lit bedside, I suggest you invest in a good book.

E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey would seem a likely contender.

Meanwhile, if you’ll excuse me – yawn, yawn – I feel a little nap coming on…

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2 thoughts on “Wham, bam, thank you ma’am – now I’m off for a good kip

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