Here’s a job that’ll really see you go up in the world…

At a time when work is hard to come by, it should be comforting to learn that there’s at least one international organisation – a brand leader in its own sphere of expertise – currently short-handed and keen to take on new recruits.

What’s more, the successful applicants require no previous experience – in fact, that’s a distinct advantage – and they don’t even need to provide their real names, merely their ages, marital status, languages spoken (preferably one being English) and, quirkily, a list of passports in their possession.

Presumably this is just on the off chance one gets lost, because the posts do necessitate some travel (well, probably one trip).

The employer seeks only truly dedicated, mentally mature people, fully committed to the organisation’s unique ethos, along with an aptitude to be ‘self-starters’, though they will occasionally act in a team role. So no time-wasters, thanks.

Remuneration isn’t mentioned in the ‘sits vac’ on-line ad, so I expect that is by negotiation. But, happily, there’s no hard-selling or cold-calling involved and corporate workwear is provided (well, at least a jacket).

Plus, the prospects for advancement are high…extremely high! And there’s a fantastic, end-of-contract bonus beyond the wildest imaginings of even a multi-millionaire City trader.

Now, before all you job-seekers rush off to your computers and check out this once-in-a-lifetime offer (and it is, believe me!), perhaps I should add a couple of caveats that might dampen your enthusiasm a tad.

Firstly, the employer in question is that well-known purveyor of terror, Al Qaeda.

And, secondly, the jobs on offer are for suicide bombers, whom, for some inexplicable reason, appear to be in short supply, despite the opportunity to be visited by up to 72 nubile virgins in the afterlife (i.e. the aforementioned end-of-contract bonus).

Then, on the other hand – according to Israeli daily, Yedioth Ahronoth, which penetrated the secret website the ad was on – the job description promises only a ‘very slight chance of being caught.’

Well, that’s welcome news for anyone seeking a post that offers the chance to travel and the sky’s quite literally the limit for their career prospects.

NB: Al Qaeda is an equal opportunity employer, where gender is no barrier to success. .


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