Congratulations all round! My cup runneth over, because, like all other residents – I hesitate to employ the word ‘citizens’ in this context – of the European Union, I’m a five-hundredth million of $1.2-million better off.
So overflowing are my coffers, I can’t even be bother working out the exact amount, but guess it might buy me a used matchstick if I’m lucky.
It’s all thanks to those generous, if a smidgeon superior, Norwegians – you know, the ones who spawned the mass-murdering, Right-wing fanatic, Anders Breivik, and a rather creepy ‘statist’ society that’s swimming in petro-dollars and educates its kids to be altruistically socialist.
For it is in the gift of the kindly Norwegians to dole out the Nobel Peace Prize, which I’ve always thought a bid odd, since Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite and philanthropist extraordinaire, was Swedish.
Anyway, that’s a by the by. What’s important is they’ve given the Nobel Peace Prize to the EU, presumably because they scraped the bottom of the barrel of potential candidates, couldn’t find an outstandingly goodly person to bestow it upon, and all that was left among the dregs was us (well, by us, of course, I mean the EU as an institution).
If it wasn’t so bizarrely farcical, it might be funny – a snide jape from a patronising country that’s semi-detached from the unelected Brussels Europrat elite (an even snottier lot than the Norwegians) at a time when the Eurozone is imploding financially and dragging the rest of the world down Skid Row with it.
Nevertheless, exalting the EU, the Nobel citation reads, ‘for [having] over six decades contributed to the advancement of peace and reconciliation, democracy and human rights in Europe’.
Fine sentiments, if only they were accurate.
So let’s deal with the ‘peace’ bit first: the EU didn’t sort out the vicious, internecine punch-up on its own doorstep in the former Yugoslavia (remember a contingent of 400 Dutch EU/UN peacekeeper looking the other way when around 8,000 Muslims were massacred in Srebrenitca?); NATO did the dirty work, with massive US help.
Nor did the EU patch up the long-standing animus between Germany and France. They achieved peace themselves in the 1950s, initially via the European Coal & Steel Community, the Common Market’s forerunner.
Now to ‘reconciliation’: not much sign of that within the massed ranks of demonstrators in Greece, raging with indignation over EU bean-counters forever twisting the screw of austerity tighter. Certainly German Chancellor Angela Merkel deserved to be ashamed on her recent visit to Athens and not merely at seeing her face superimposed on a Nazi uniform in a forest of placards hoisted by the hungry and homeless.And watch this space when Spain is forced to proffer the begging bowl, as it must surely do with unemployment running at around 25% and over 50% of its youth – the nation’s glorious future – jobless and hopeless. So if you imagine the riots in Madrid were just worth a ribbon of tickertape at the foot of a 24-hour news channel screen, as they say in Hollywood, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
Next, let’s examine ‘harmony’: Scottish and Catalan nationalists want to break away from their respective countries, though I firmly believe Alex Salmond, Scotland’s First Minister, is living in a tartan Cloud Cuckooland if he thinks the Scots are that gullible.
As regards Catalonia, already one of Spain’s most autonomous regions, they’ll be breaking the country’s constitution if they rush for a unilateral declaration of independence and, as even King Juan Carlos warned, the consequences could be dire.
Then there’s‘ democracy’. Or, more precise, the veneer passing for it – one, incidentally that’s likely to be shattered totally after the award of the Peace Prize, because that will be seen as a green light by power-crazed Europhiles to forge further ahead with their lust for a centralised, single nation state of Euroland.
If so, to paraphrase a hotly-contested expression said to have been used against a policeman by the British government’s (now ex) Chief Whip recently, it’ll be ‘sod the plebs’, only more so.
Because the unpalatable reality is we have an anti-democracy in the EU. What exists, instead, is a bunch of appointees – one per member state – ruling as satraps…like the UK’s Baroness Cathy Ashton, the anonymous Foreign Minister, a Belgian hologram named Herman Van Rompuy as President of the European Council and Portugal’s unctious ex-Prime Minster, Jose Manuel Barroso, as President of the European Commission.
Did you vote for any of Europe’s ringmasters? No, neither did I. And, such is democracy in the EU, a great many residents of its member countries never had a say in the many complex treaties binding the gravy train tighter together.
As a sop to the hallowed name of democracy, however, we have Members of the European Parliament (MEPs), who are elected every five years. Can you name yours, by the way? No, neither can I.
It doesn’t actually matter if you could, because the 736 of them are practically powerless, yet extremely adept at piling up immense personal expenses and voting for inflation-busting rises to their annual stipends, currently a basic €92,000.
What does matter, though, is that no independent auditors have been prepared to sign off the EU’s books for 15 years and it’s highly unlikely one will do when the budget rises to an estimated €150.9-billion for 2013.
Finally, allow me to sum up the EU’s quirky vision of ‘human rights’ in one rhetorical question: Where were the people of Britain’s human rights as European courts rode roughshod over UK law for eight years on whether evil, hook-handed, preacher of hate, Abu Hamza, could be deported to face terrorist charges in America?
So much, then for ‘reconciliation’, ‘harmony’, ‘democracy’ and ‘human rights’ in the Nobel laureate-anointed European Union, a wannabe superstate few signed up to when they voted in favour of a free-trade Common Market.
Meanwhile, I’m off to spend my entire five-millionth of the Peace Prize moolah. Anyone got a used match they want to flog?