HERE’S my annual seasonal gift to Views From The Mallorca Pier readers – a quiz that’ll separate the Christmas turkeys from the Yuletide masterminds.
So grab yourself a mince pie and pop the bubbly to get your mind fizzing over these 70 teasing questions…but beware: in each section there’s one question that’s EXTRA tricky, because none of the multiple-choice, optional answers are correct.
No prizes, except the glory of claiming you’re the brightest bauble on the Christmas tree.
But you’ll have to wait until next Friday, December 26, to find out, because that’s when I’ll publish the solution.
So get cracking with a trivia quiz that will drive you Christmas crackers!
HEADLINE HITTERS OF 2014
1 – FORMER US President Bill Clinton made headlines in 2014, by calling present White House incumbent, Barack Obama, what?
a) A fun guy; b) A ‘wuss’; c) A golf nut
2 – WHICH 69-year-old theatrical ‘aristo’ became the new ‘face’ of cosmetics giant, L’Oreal?
a) Dame Helen Mirren; b) Dame Diana Rigg; c) Dame Julie Andrews
3 – BRITAIN’S Labour leader, Ed Miliband, suffered his most embarrassing moment of the year when photo’d making a mess of eating what?
a) A McDonald’s cheeseburger; b) A great British fry-up breakfast; c) A bacon sandwich
4 – The Japanese tipple, Yamazaki, was voted the world’s best what?
a) Beer; b) Sake rice wine; c) Sherry
5 – WHO said Prince Harry told her to ‘F*** off’, after she asked him to look after her handbag on a visit to Buckingham Palace?
a) His sister-in-law, Kate; b) Sharon Osbourne; c) Angelina Jolie
6 – THE Chinese New Year starts on February 19 celebrates what creature?
a) Sheep; b) Dragon; c) Tiger
7 – WHICH gobbledygook gabbler won the Plain English Campaign’s 2014 Foot In The Mouth award?
a) Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson; b) London Mayor’s Boris Johnson; c) Comedian Russell Brand
READ ALL ABOUT IT
8 – WHAT creature was Robert Burns referring to in his poem that starts, ‘Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie…’?
a) Mouse; b) Louse; c) Grouse
9 – WHICH wit’s dying words were, ‘Either the wallpaper goes or I do’?
a) P.G. Wodehouse; b) Groucho Marx; c) Oscar Wilde
10 – WHICH Shakespearean king pleaded, ‘A horse, a horse – my kingdom for a horse.’
a) King Lear; b) King John; c) Henry V
11 – WHICH kiddies’ character was created by Michael Bond?
a) Paddington Bear; b) Rupert Bear; c) Yogi Bear
12 – WHAT nursery rhyme provided the first words ever recorded on the gramophone by its inventor, Thomas Edison?
a) Jack & Jill; b) Mary Had A Little Lamb; b); c) Three Blind Mice
13 – BY was name was the Oliver Mellors better known?
a) The Count of Monte Cristo; b) Tarzan; c) Lady Chatterley’s Lover
14 – Which fictional detective had a cleverer brother called Mycroft?
a) Sherlock Holmes; b) Columbo; c) Miss Marple
15 – WHAT is the last letter of the Greek alphabet?
a) Epsilon; b) Omega; c) Zeta
16 – WHAT’S the name of Lot’s wife, turned into a pillar of salt for looking back at the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah?
a) Miriam; b) Deborah; c) Amanda
17 – WHAT type of sweet did Mars and Murrie develop in 1941?
a) Mars Bar; b) Chewing gum; c) M&Ms
18 – In human anatomy, how is the epidermis better known?
a) Skin; b) Ear lobe; c) Finger nail
19 – THE letter K is the chemical symbol for what element?
a) Sulphur; b) Potassium; c) Krypton
20 – WHO would wear a hat called a toque?
a) Chef; b) French Foreign Legionnaire; c) Cardinal
21 – FEBRUARY is the shortest month, but what’s the longest?
a) August; b) October; c) December
THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOWBIZ
22 – WHICH Hollywood legend created a best-selling salad dressing?
a) Paul Newman; b) Robert Redford; c) Sylvester Stallone
23 – WHAT’S the name of Postman Pat’s black and white cat?
a) Bess; b) Jess; c) Tess
24 – MONTY Python’s Always Look on the Bright Side of Life is the most requested song at what events?
a) Baptisms; b) Weddings; c) Funerals
25 – WHICH band performed the first tune on BBC’s Top of the Pops in 1964?
a) The Rolling Stones; b) The Beatles; c) The Who
26 – WHAT colour is The Grinch Who Stole Christmas?
a) Red; b) Yellow; c) Green
27 – IN which real-life UK county is fictional Downton Abbey?
a) West Yorkshire; b) North Yorkshire; c) South Yorkshire
28 – WHICH movie hero’s sexy sidekick is Felicity Shagwell?
a) Ironman; b) Spiderman; c) Captain America
ALL IN THE PAST
29 – WHICH English king was crowned on Christmas Day?
a) William I (The Conqueror); b) Edward II; c) Henry III
30 – WHICH ancient city was once known as Byzantium?
a) Rome; b) Athens; c) Istanbul
31 – WHICH US President once said, ‘You can tell a lot about a fellow by the way he eats jellybeans’?
a) Gerald Ford; b) Lyndon Johnson; c) Ronald Reagan
32 – WHICH saint’s day falls on Boxing Day, December 26?
a) Francis; b) Luke; c) Bartholomew
33 – SCI-FI writer L. Ron Hubbard created which religious cult?
a) Scientology; b) The Moonies; c) Jehovah’s Witnesses
34 – WHAT was England’s first overseas colony?
a) Virginia; b) Newfoundland; c) Bermuda
35 – THE Berlin Wall came down in 1989, but in what year did it go up?
a) 1951; b) 1961; c) 1971
36 – IF you arrived at El Prat Airport, where in Spain would you be?
a) Madrid; b) Barcelona; c) San Sebastian
37 – WHAT part of Captain Robert Jenkins’ anatomy did the Spanish cut off to cause a nine-year war with Britain?
a) Ear; b) Testicles; c) Nose
38 – EVERY Eurozone state’s banknotes have a letter on them to denote their origin, but which one identifies Spain’s euros?
a) S; b) V; c) E
39 – FROM where did the Spanish Armada set sail to attack England in 1588?
a) La Coruna; b) Seville; c) Bilbao
40 – Before marrying into the Royal Family, Queen Letizia did what job?
a) Air hostess; b) Page 3 girl; c) Dentist
41 – How many states border Spain?
a) One; b) Two; c) Three
42 – Which of the following isn’t a Spanish holiday hot spot?
a) Costa Calida; b) Costa Smeralda; c) Costa de la Luz
SO WHERE THE HECK ARE WE?
43 – WHICH European mini state has been ruled by the Grimaldi dynasty for over 700 years?
a) San Remo; b) Monaco; c) San Marino
44 – WHICH British city has a district called Splott?
a) Cardiff; b) Plymouth; c) Newcastle
45 – WHICH is the greatest in size of North America’s Great Lakes?
a) Michigan; b) Erie; c) Superior
46 – IN which month does Munich’s beer-guzzling Oktoberfest begin?
a) September; b) October; c) November
47 – WHAT is Saudi Arabia’s longest river?
a) Tigris; b) Euphrates; c) Nile
48 – NUUK is the capital of what island?
a) Iceland; b) Greenland; c) Madagascar
49 – WHAT sea has no coastline?
a) Aral; b) Coral; c) Sargasso
A SPORTING CHANCE
50 – WHAT colour is the bull’s-eye on a standard dartboard?
a) Gold/yellow; b) Red; c) White
51 – IN a pack of cards, which king doesn’t sport a moustache?
a) Hearts; b) Diamonds; c) Clubs
52 – WHICH were the first teams to compete in an international cricket match?
a) England & Australia; b) India & England; c) USA & Canada
53 – SOCCER legend, David Beckham, was briefly a star in which lowly side?
a) Millwall; b) Preston North End; c) Leyton Orient
54 – WHICH motor racing circuit is nicknamed The Brickyard?
a) Indianapolis: b) Silverstone; c) Brands Hatch?
55 – THE soccer anthem, You’ll Never Walk, comes from which musical?
a) South Pacific; b) West Side Story; c) Carousel
56 – WHICH tennis belle has a grunt of 101 decibels – louder than a lion’s roar?
a) Anna Kournikova; b) Maria Sharapova; c) Serena Williams
IT AIN’T ROCKET SCIENCE
57 – WHAT was Jimmy Wales’s great, Internet invention?
a) Google; b) Face Book; c) Wikipedia
58 – WHAT product’s performance is measured in SPFs?
a) Condoms; b) Suntan lotions; c) Mobile phones
59 – WHAT metal’s chemical symbol is Sn?
a) Tin; b) Lead; c) Aluminium
60 – LENTIGINES is the medical term for what skin condition?
a) Blackheads; b) Acne; c) Freckles
61 – HOW many ounces are in a British imperial pound?
a) 10; b) 12; c) 14
62 – PRINCE William has a university degree in what subject?
a) History of art; b) Geography; c) Astrophysics
63 – THE Moon is approximately how many miles from Earth?
a) 240,000; b) 320,000; c) 410,000
…AND THE NUMBERS GAME
64 – THE adult human body has what number of bones?
a) 206; b) 216; c) 226
65 – ACCORDING to the BBC how many rooms are in Buckingham Palace?
a) 375; b) 575; c) 775
66 – HALLEY’S Comet appears every how many years?
a) 46; b) 56; c) 66
67 – EU-approved bananas must have how many sides?
a) 4; b) 5; c) 6
68 – HOW many love-making positions are described in the Karma Sutra, the world’s oldest sex guide?
a) 64; b) 69; c) 72
69 – IN the acclaimed exhibit by artist Paul Cummins, about how many ceramic poppies were planted at the Tower of London to commemorate each British soldier lost in WW1?
a) 770,000; b) 880,000; c) 990,000
70– HOW many people does the bible say Jesus feed with five loaves and two fishes?
a) 5,000; b) 6,000; c) 7,000